Growing up, several of my teachers tired of my incessant asking of my favorite question. WHY? I always wanted to to know why, and when I got an unsatisfactory answer, I asked it again.
Annoying, curious kid? Maybe. But I learned a lot. And I learned not to be satisfied with crap answers. And, thinking back over my life, I have heard A LOT of bad answers. So why is asking questions a bad thing? Why do so many teachers/parents/bosses/authority figures adopt the sit-down-and-shut-up/because-I-said-so mentality?
Men, women, feminine and masculine: WHY?
I wish people would start questioning why we do and say certain things, why men and women are expected to BE certain things. If we stray from society tells us to be, we are judged and often punished.
Why, as a woman, am I supposed to shave my legs? Men don't. Why is makeup geared towards women? Do I need lipstick and mascara to be more beautiful? (And don't give me that crap about highlighting my natural beauty). Men don't highlight their natural manliness by putting on jaw-line definer.
Why is it that women sit in a way that makes them smaller? We don't naturally do that. It is not like we are protecting a little nest of bird's eggs. Why can't we sit with our legs open and our arms draped out in a typical-"manly" fashion?
Why are women's' razors so often pink? I am not shaving my My-little-pony! And deodorant...why is deodorant for women in such wussy scents? Morning dew, lilac frost? WTF!?!
Why are men supposed to have deep voices and be aggressive/assertive. Why are positively associated man words things like powerful, strong, provider, assertive and intelligent? Women can certainly be all of those things. And what if men don't want to be or simply are not all of those things? What is so wrong with that? Nothing.
And, societally, we need to be asking the scarier, more important questions too. Why are nearly ALL (not all, but most) rapists men? (yes that question can be answered, but it is not discussed enough amongst the general public)... Why are most serial killers middle-aged white men? Why are most familial abusers men? What things in our patriarchal society contribute to these things being the way they are? Men are NOT naturally more violent. Women are NOT naturally better caregivers. We learn to be all of these things, or to not be all of these things. Most men would never think about raping another human being, and are saddened and horrified that it happens. BUT when it does happen, why are the rapists most often men?
How can we change this? Why is it happening? Why does it keep going on in every country around the world? Why do some people choose to be violent?
I am a woman. I am many things. I choose to wear dresses sometimes. I choose not to wear makeup. I choose to talk when I am angry and not be violent. Gender, manner and actions are my choice. I still have a lot to figure out. And I have to ask many questions in order to get there.
I guess Julie, that, at your 28 years-old, you probably know more than most over 30 men and women all over the world, which is sad in a way, since what you know could help a lot to make a better place.
ReplyDeleteMiss you woman!
I wrote a long response and then posted and then I got redirected to a livejournal login and I lost it. BLAH.
ReplyDeleteDon't ask a question if you don't want to know the answer hehe
ReplyDelete