Sunday, August 29, 2010
Teaching and being taught...
I have found many times over that in order to foster positive growth and change, it is better to do so not with harsh criticism and negativity, but with positive feedback and understanding.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
If it has to be advertised, you do not need it--Why part II
We are bombarded with an absurd amount of advertisements every day.
All of the ads for cleaning products are geared towards women. Thanks for perpetuating the idea that it is (only) a woman's job to clean. And they always make it look so fun and important... "YAY!!! I am just so happy to stand around my kitchen all day smiling and making it all clean and sterilized in order to be the perfect mom/wife!! Yay!!!"
And beauty products for women. I wish I remember who said this remarkably simple sentiment--if it has to be advertised, you do not need it. Look at what products are thrown at women (often only women). I see dozens and dozens of anti-aging product ads every day. They are ALL geared towards women! Men get older too. We all age...isn't that natural? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but men and women age at the same rate! Why, in our society, is it so wrong for women to age?
Hollywood showcases this imbalance for all to see. So many movies and shows have a middle aged man as the romantic hero/love interest. He is often wrinkled and aged. Graying hair, weathered skin... All too often, his romantic counterpart is "perfect" and quite a bit younger, with no signs of aging. Never a gray hair (unless it is a romance about a 'woman of a certain age' finding love again), always to be caked in makeup and super slim. Didn't you know ladies? Only women who are dress size 2-6 find true love! Blech.
Makeup. We obviously don't need that. Don't get me wrong, it is fun sometimes. For men and women. But everyday? And so much? Foundation and powder...we already have skin! Sure it makes your skin look closer to perfect, but what the hell are we--dolls? Women are beautiful with all their supposed imperfections. Just as men are with all of theirs. Men break out, get age spots, get sunburned etc... Yet they are not expected to cover those things up with makeup.
And what about the celebrity obsession? Why is that so geared toward women? Are women naturally supposed to care about that crap? I am almost inclined to think that women are to be distracted by all of this shit, to keep them from doing more important things. I don't need to be part of the patriarchal world, because I am just too busy shaving my legs, primping, gossiping and reading celebrity gossip online!
No thank you.
Now, to be clear, I do not think there is necessarily anything wrong with those things, but why not men too? Why anyone at all? I know women are better than that. So are men, for that matter.
All of the ads for cleaning products are geared towards women. Thanks for perpetuating the idea that it is (only) a woman's job to clean. And they always make it look so fun and important... "YAY!!! I am just so happy to stand around my kitchen all day smiling and making it all clean and sterilized in order to be the perfect mom/wife!! Yay!!!"
And beauty products for women. I wish I remember who said this remarkably simple sentiment--if it has to be advertised, you do not need it. Look at what products are thrown at women (often only women). I see dozens and dozens of anti-aging product ads every day. They are ALL geared towards women! Men get older too. We all age...isn't that natural? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but men and women age at the same rate! Why, in our society, is it so wrong for women to age?
Hollywood showcases this imbalance for all to see. So many movies and shows have a middle aged man as the romantic hero/love interest. He is often wrinkled and aged. Graying hair, weathered skin... All too often, his romantic counterpart is "perfect" and quite a bit younger, with no signs of aging. Never a gray hair (unless it is a romance about a 'woman of a certain age' finding love again), always to be caked in makeup and super slim. Didn't you know ladies? Only women who are dress size 2-6 find true love! Blech.
Makeup. We obviously don't need that. Don't get me wrong, it is fun sometimes. For men and women. But everyday? And so much? Foundation and powder...we already have skin! Sure it makes your skin look closer to perfect, but what the hell are we--dolls? Women are beautiful with all their supposed imperfections. Just as men are with all of theirs. Men break out, get age spots, get sunburned etc... Yet they are not expected to cover those things up with makeup.
And what about the celebrity obsession? Why is that so geared toward women? Are women naturally supposed to care about that crap? I am almost inclined to think that women are to be distracted by all of this shit, to keep them from doing more important things. I don't need to be part of the patriarchal world, because I am just too busy shaving my legs, primping, gossiping and reading celebrity gossip online!
No thank you.
Now, to be clear, I do not think there is necessarily anything wrong with those things, but why not men too? Why anyone at all? I know women are better than that. So are men, for that matter.
Monday, August 16, 2010
WHY? When you get an answer, ask WHY again!!!
Growing up, several of my teachers tired of my incessant asking of my favorite question. WHY? I always wanted to to know why, and when I got an unsatisfactory answer, I asked it again.
Annoying, curious kid? Maybe. But I learned a lot. And I learned not to be satisfied with crap answers. And, thinking back over my life, I have heard A LOT of bad answers. So why is asking questions a bad thing? Why do so many teachers/parents/bosses/authority figures adopt the sit-down-and-shut-up/because-I-said-so mentality?
Men, women, feminine and masculine: WHY?
I wish people would start questioning why we do and say certain things, why men and women are expected to BE certain things. If we stray from society tells us to be, we are judged and often punished.
Why, as a woman, am I supposed to shave my legs? Men don't. Why is makeup geared towards women? Do I need lipstick and mascara to be more beautiful? (And don't give me that crap about highlighting my natural beauty). Men don't highlight their natural manliness by putting on jaw-line definer.
Why is it that women sit in a way that makes them smaller? We don't naturally do that. It is not like we are protecting a little nest of bird's eggs. Why can't we sit with our legs open and our arms draped out in a typical-"manly" fashion?
Why are women's' razors so often pink? I am not shaving my My-little-pony! And deodorant...why is deodorant for women in such wussy scents? Morning dew, lilac frost? WTF!?!
Why are men supposed to have deep voices and be aggressive/assertive. Why are positively associated man words things like powerful, strong, provider, assertive and intelligent? Women can certainly be all of those things. And what if men don't want to be or simply are not all of those things? What is so wrong with that? Nothing.
And, societally, we need to be asking the scarier, more important questions too. Why are nearly ALL (not all, but most) rapists men? (yes that question can be answered, but it is not discussed enough amongst the general public)... Why are most serial killers middle-aged white men? Why are most familial abusers men? What things in our patriarchal society contribute to these things being the way they are? Men are NOT naturally more violent. Women are NOT naturally better caregivers. We learn to be all of these things, or to not be all of these things. Most men would never think about raping another human being, and are saddened and horrified that it happens. BUT when it does happen, why are the rapists most often men?
How can we change this? Why is it happening? Why does it keep going on in every country around the world? Why do some people choose to be violent?
I am a woman. I am many things. I choose to wear dresses sometimes. I choose not to wear makeup. I choose to talk when I am angry and not be violent. Gender, manner and actions are my choice. I still have a lot to figure out. And I have to ask many questions in order to get there.
Annoying, curious kid? Maybe. But I learned a lot. And I learned not to be satisfied with crap answers. And, thinking back over my life, I have heard A LOT of bad answers. So why is asking questions a bad thing? Why do so many teachers/parents/bosses/authority figures adopt the sit-down-and-shut-up/because-I-said-so mentality?
Men, women, feminine and masculine: WHY?
I wish people would start questioning why we do and say certain things, why men and women are expected to BE certain things. If we stray from society tells us to be, we are judged and often punished.
Why, as a woman, am I supposed to shave my legs? Men don't. Why is makeup geared towards women? Do I need lipstick and mascara to be more beautiful? (And don't give me that crap about highlighting my natural beauty). Men don't highlight their natural manliness by putting on jaw-line definer.
Why is it that women sit in a way that makes them smaller? We don't naturally do that. It is not like we are protecting a little nest of bird's eggs. Why can't we sit with our legs open and our arms draped out in a typical-"manly" fashion?
Why are women's' razors so often pink? I am not shaving my My-little-pony! And deodorant...why is deodorant for women in such wussy scents? Morning dew, lilac frost? WTF!?!
Why are men supposed to have deep voices and be aggressive/assertive. Why are positively associated man words things like powerful, strong, provider, assertive and intelligent? Women can certainly be all of those things. And what if men don't want to be or simply are not all of those things? What is so wrong with that? Nothing.
And, societally, we need to be asking the scarier, more important questions too. Why are nearly ALL (not all, but most) rapists men? (yes that question can be answered, but it is not discussed enough amongst the general public)... Why are most serial killers middle-aged white men? Why are most familial abusers men? What things in our patriarchal society contribute to these things being the way they are? Men are NOT naturally more violent. Women are NOT naturally better caregivers. We learn to be all of these things, or to not be all of these things. Most men would never think about raping another human being, and are saddened and horrified that it happens. BUT when it does happen, why are the rapists most often men?
How can we change this? Why is it happening? Why does it keep going on in every country around the world? Why do some people choose to be violent?
I am a woman. I am many things. I choose to wear dresses sometimes. I choose not to wear makeup. I choose to talk when I am angry and not be violent. Gender, manner and actions are my choice. I still have a lot to figure out. And I have to ask many questions in order to get there.
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